No Need to Wait! Tips for When to Start Therapy

Lots of us face emotional difficulties in our lives. These struggles might involve stress at work or school, or problems with relationships at home. Maybe something specific has been troubling you or you’re having issues with a romantic partner or friend, or with something from the past that’s re-surfaced. You may have experienced something particularly stressful or traumatic recently that’s shaken you (tip: anything that you feel is traumatic is trauma). Alternatively, you could have symptoms of an existing mental condition such as anxiety, depression or addiction, or these issues may have started for no clear reason.

Sometimes, talking with a supportive friend or family member, or prioritizing taking better care of ourselves is enough to ease our life struggles. But there may be times when these steps don’t resolve the issue. When that happens, it makes sense to consider seeking the help of a qualified licensed mental health therapist. A mental health condition is just like any other medical illness: it’s just something that sometimes happens; there’s no single cause and it’s never your fault.

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THERAPY

What IS therapy? Simply put, therapy (also known as counseling, psychotherapy or talking therapy), is a type of psychological treatment that involves a client talking with a trained and licensed mental health professional about their mental health issues, or anything else that’s troubling them. Therapists use different forms of communication and interaction that, over time, help clients learn valuable tools to manage their symptoms and return to a healthy and happier way of life. Many psychotherapy approaches are evidence-based (supported by many good research studies) and short-term, and can provide forward momentum and symptom relief, and help you form healthier relationships with yourself and others.

And what’s a therapist? In a mental health context, a therapist (or psychotherapist) is a trained mental health professional who practices and is skilled in particular types of talk therapy to help clients understand and cope with their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A therapist may assess, treat and / or diagnose mental health conditions.

Before we continue, it’s important to note a few more things about mental health therapy:

• Going to therapy is not a sign of weakness, and it isn’t anything to be ashamed of
• Reaching out for help is a really important step in getting back on track
• You don’t need a mental health diagnosis or to hit “rock bottom” before you can benefit from therapy
• Therapy doesn’t necessarily include taking medication
• Therapy isn’t forever

IT MAY BE TIME TO CONSIDER THERAPY

If you’re experiencing changes in your moods, thoughts, feelings, body, or relationships – and those changes are: (1) having a negative impact on how you’re feeling, and (2) making it hard to manage everyday responsibilities at work, school, home or in your relationships, you might benefit from professional mental health support. Everyone’s situation is different, but here are some common examples:

Feelings

• anxious/nervous, sad/tearful, afraid, or hopeless
• more angry or irritated than usual, not able to regulate your emotions
• big mood changes, including highs and lows
• low energy / continually tired
• little / no interest in activities you used to enjoy
• overwhelmed, like you can’t manage everything you need to do

Relationships

• having trouble relating to the people in your life, don’t feel nurtured by your relationships
• support network is diminished or absent
• avoiding friends, family, and social activities
• changing friends often, over a short period of time

Thoughts

• overthinking things
• trouble focusing or remembering things
• hyper-focusing on one thing (an idea you can’t get out of your head), e.g. your appearance, drinking or substance use, a fear that something bad will happen etc.
• thoughts revolving around getting and using alcohol or drugs
• thoughts of self-harm or suicide
• thoughts that feel mixed up or unreal

Physical & Behavior Changes

• feeling sick without knowing why (e.g. headaches, stomachaches, backaches, pains that persist or recur)
• changes in sleep patterns
• changes in eating habits (being very hungry or not hungry at all)
• needing to use drugs or alcohol more and more often to keep from feeling sick
• behavior changes
• not taking care of personal hygiene, not keeping your living space clean
• facing consequences from changes in your behavior (e.g. forgetting or ignoring commitments, risking friendships, issues at work or school)
• dealing with the legal system due to behavior issues, or from drug or alcohol use

When a Child Might Be in Need of Help

If you’re concerned that a child or teen in your life may be in need of mental health support, here are a few signs to look for:

• changes in how they’re doing at school (academically and socially)
• excessive worrying, anxiety, fearfulness
• changes in sleep patterns, including frequent nightmares
• changes in eating habits
• acting hyperactive
• belligerent behavior, not following direction from adults
• aggression / temper tantrums
• clingy behavior, needing more comfort than usual

DO THE SIGNS WARRANT SEEING A THERAPIST?

If any of the examples above describe your situation, how do you decide whether that means you should seek therapy? Consider these factors:

1. Do you spend time every week thinking or worrying about the issue?
2. Is the issue distressing or embarrassing to the point that you want to hide it from others?
3. Over the past few months, has the issue interfered with everyday life or reduced your quality of life?
4. Have you curtailed work, educational or personal ambitions because of the issue?
5. Are you having to rearrange your life routine to accommodate the issue?

A YES response to any of those five questions suggests you might want to consider professional help. Remember: therapy is nothing to be ashamed of, and reaching out for help is the best way to get back on track! Also, remember that sometimes an issue might be less apparent or troubling to you than it is to the people around you. That doesn’t automatically mean that your friends or family are all over-reacting and you’re correct that everything is fine. Instead, use it as an opportunity to discern why the people who care about you are concerned or upset and what that might mean.

HOW THERAPY CAN HELP

We try our best to hide our suffering or vulnerable side from the world. But sometimes, our hidden pain begins to manifest in other ways – like strained relationships, emotional outbursts, physical illness, etc. How can you change the cycle? How can you begin to heal? Therapy. The decision to begin therapy is a very personal one. But if you’re curious and open to it, you can typically benefit from therapy no matter why you’re going.

Therapy can help you:

• start new good habits or stop old bad ones
• alleviate mental health symptoms or conditions
• embrace your strengths, your authentic self, and discover what brings you joy
• re-examine what you think and believe about life and the world around you
• work through any grief or pain you’ve been holding inside
• learn more about yourself

As you decide whether to take the first step, consider that, today: (1) many therapies have been clinically shown to be effective, and (2) many mental health issues have been shown to be treatable using short-term therapy approaches. We encourage you to learn more about the different approaches to therapy. It can help you decide which ones may be a good fit for you and when you’re ready, it will help you narrow down your search for a new therapist.

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IntraSpectrum Counseling is Chicago’s leading psychotherapy practice dedicated to the LGBTQ+ community, and we strive to provide the highest quality mental health care for multicultural, identity, kink, polyamorous, and intersectional issues. For anyone needing affirming and validating support with any issue, please click here or contact us at help@intraspectrum-chicago.com.