Celebrate Bisexuality Day!

IntraSpectrum Counseling is proud to commemorate Celebrate Bisexuality Day, a time to recognize and celebrate bisexual people, the bisexual community, and the history of bisexuality. This reflection on Celebrate Bisexuality Day is authored by Dr. Kristin Kazyaka, PhD-L, a member of the IntraSpectrum Counseling team.

___________________________

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which you are attracted to more than one gender, but bisexual people sometimes describe themselves differently. There is a quote by Robyn Ochs, who is a longtime self-identified bisexual, and is a leader and activist in our community: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” There is a common concern that bisexuality is exclusive of trans/non-binary identities – this is not necessarily the case, and if we use Ochs’s quote as an example, her definition is a broader definition of bisexuality that might include pansexuality, queer, or other gender expansive sexualities.

Bisexuality is often a misunderstood sexuality, even within the LGBTQ community. People often assume the sexuality of others based on the gender of their partner(s), which can lead to bi erasure – in which people’s sexualities are denied or challenged (see this GLAAD article for more information on bi erasure).

Bisexual people can often be met with comments like:

• “You’re just confused”
• “You’re really gay; you’re just in denial”
• “Bisexuality isn’t real”
• “If you’re bisexual, then why can’t you just be with a [man/woman]” (promoting heteronormative relationships)

Unfortunately, these comments can be harmful and can also come from folks who are a part of the queer community. This fundamental misunderstanding can have harmful consequences to bisexual individuals. Bisexual people are the least likely of the queer community to “come out.” Bisexual people report a high degree of struggle with their mental health, including high rates of depression. From the Trevor Project, nearly half of the bisexual youth in the study contemplated suicide in the past year. Talking about bisexuality can save lives.

If someone in your life comes out as bisexual, instead of the comments above, try to meet them with comments like:

• “Thank you for telling me”
• “I’m glad you are able to be yourself”
• “Tell me more about what this means for you”
• “I’m glad you feel safe with me”
• “You are valid”

And if you identify as bisexual, please know: your sexuality is valid. Even if you’ve only explored your sexuality within your own mind, you are a part of the queer community and you belong here!

_____________________________________

Celebrate Bisexuality Day is observed annually on September 23rd. As Chicago’s leading psychotherapy practice dedicated to the LGBTQ+ community, IntraSpectrum Counseling is proud to acknowledge and celebrate it. Every day, we strive to provide the highest quality mental health care for clients of all ages and across the spectrum of identities. For anyone needing affirming and validating support or healing with any issue, please click here or email us at help@intraspectrum-chicago.com.