Accepting Your Size, Accepting Yourself

This blog is authored by Vilte Baliutaviciute, MA, LPC, a member of the IntraSpectrum Counseling clinical team.

_____________________________

April 24th is International Size Acceptance Day! But what does that mean and why is it important?

The Harm of Weight Stigma
Many people might have experienced negative comments, or internalized shameful thoughts about their body’s size, weight, or shape. But weight stigma and fatphobia are more than skin deep. Scientific studies show that people with larger bodies face:

• Discriminatory hiring practices
• Worse treatment within workplaces, including salary disparities
• Receiving less financial support from family or to pursue higher education
• Poorer treatment from medical professionals (who may dismiss concerns as weight-related)

Many people, faced with weight stigma, turn to drastic measures such as restricting food, avoiding or delaying medical care, or even self harm, that contribute to disordered eating, and leave a person constantly in opposition to their own body. It is important to remember that…

Variety in Bodies is Natural
Modern discussions of the “obesity epidemic” often treat size differences as if they were a recent occurrence. But the Venus of Willendorf- one of the oldest known works of human art- depicts a person with a large body. And the art of creators such as Baroque painter Peter Paul Rubens celebrates larger people throughout history. Humans have always come in a variety of shapes.

And if you’re wondering, well, what about health? The answer is that “health” doesn’t just look like one thing! The Health at Every Size (HAES) movement encourages people to focus on their health- on making sure they get full nutrition and regular movement in a way that is safe and joyful for them, regardless of the number on the scale. A person can build the endurance to run marathons, or the precision to figure skate, while still looking and living large.

Size and the LGBTQ+ Community
The intersection of size discrimination and the marginalization of sexuality and gender is a rough overlap. And the harm can often be coming from within the community as much as outside of it. How many people have seen the pejorative “No Fats, No Fems” on a dating profile? A third of gay men reported receiving weight-based discrimination in dating. In adolescents as well as adults, LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to be diagnosed with an eating disorder, or report disordered eating. This is especially prevalent in the trans community, with transgender college students being four times more likely than cisgender students to have an eating disorder. The rates tend to be highest for trans men but apply across gender identities. The distorted thin ideal will, deceptively, will contort itself to seem like an answer to dysphoria and other insecurities:

• Want to look more masculine? Wouldn’t thinness reduce curves?
• Want to look more feminine? Aren’t women supposed to be small and skinny?
• Want to present in an androgynous way? Only thin androgyny is particularly represented in media.

Positing thinness as a solution to appearing as one’s desired gender is as much a false and harmful narrative as a doctor ignoring a patient’s broken arm to focus on weight. LGBTQ+ youth with a history of an eating disorder were also 5-6 times more likely to attempt suicide. The better answer, instead, is to embrace one’s size and celebrate it. Whatever your gender, you can be that gender at your size and in your body.

A Therapeutic Perspective
As a therapist working with clients who might be struggling with these issues, I emphasize moving away from rigid rules, roles, and restrictions. No counting calories, no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods, no magically ideal specific appearance. Especially for LGBTQ+ clients, I would like to remind them their identity is not defined by a number on a scale. People are healthier – physically and mentally – the more they can listen to their own hunger cues, move in ways that feel good, and generally see their body as themselves – or at least, an ally – rather than an opponent or enemy.

Resources
Find HAES-practicing medical professionals at: https://asdah.org/haes/
Read about HAES in the LGBTQ+ community: https://withinhealth.com/learn/articles/haes-in-the-lgbtq-community
Learn more about the science of size and weight from:
– Blog: https://bigfatscience.tumblr.com/
– Podcast: https://www.maintenancephase.com/
– Book: What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, by Aubrey Gordon

____________________________________________

IntraSpectrum Counseling is Chicago’s leading psychotherapy practice dedicated to the LGBTQ+ community, and we strive to provide the highest quality mental health care for multicultural, identity, kink, polyamorous, and intersectional issues. For anyone needing affirming and validating support with any issue, please click here or contact us at help@intraspectrum-chicago.com.